So, Imp #2 was being particularly cute today. I said to him, "Imp #2, why are you so darned cute?"

And he says, "Because God made me cute."

Which made him all the cuter.

Anatomy Lesson

SO, I'm a chick. But you all knew that.

I'm a chick who cannot pee standing up. There are many Freudian comments to be made about the fact that I sincerely wish I could pee standing up. I am actually quite happy about the fact that I am female . . . I generally don't wish that I had the specific anatomy that would make peeing while standing up possible for me . . . nor do I wish I had the many other things that make a man a man. I like lipstick. I like skirts. I like to think of myself as a Twiggy version of a pinup girl. Okay, maybe not. But I definitely don't want to be a man.

I just want to be able to pee standing up.

Why?

Well, this morning, I had to take the two wee imps in my car while I dropped of Kindergarten imp at the bus stop and wait with him. That's when he started to do the dance.

The potty dance.

I knew he would never be able to wait the 45 minute bus ride to pee. So, I motioned him back over the car. Quickly taking inventory of my options, I saw a water bottle rolling on the floorboard. Now, I'm usually a plastic reusable cup kind of water drinker, but for some reason I must have been extra thirsty one day when I was out and about and bought a bottle and hadn't been able to throw it in the recycling bin.

"Pee into this bottle," I instructed. And in the relative privacy of the car, he was able to whip it out, relieve himself, and get back in time for the bus all with relative ease. What a lifesaver.

Which started me thinking -- What in the hell am I going to do when Imp #3 is doing the potty dance when she starts kindergarten and I'm waiting with her at the bus stop? So, my mission between now and then is to figure out how to pee standing up. Then, I will pass the wisdom onto her.

Let the anatomy lesson conclude . . .