Counting tub rings

So, I have noticed a direct correlation between the number of children I have and the number of times in a month I bathe them. When Imp #1 was an infant -- you know, the kind of child that really doesn't do anything to get dirty except the occasional blow-out -- I would bathe him at least every other day. When he became a toddler and frequently got grimy, particularly in the summer months, I'd bathe him every day.

Then I had Imp #2. And while the two of them were still dunked in the tub on a fairly regular basis, it was, for sure, less frequent. This was in part due to #2's sensitive skin, but more because it was hard to bathe them together given #1's wild ways.

Bathing became even less frequent when I became pregnant with Imp #3. In fact, this past summer, there were often nights when I would look at the boys, see the grime on their little legs and arms, think about how difficult it would be to bend over my pregnant belly to wash them in the tub. So, if I was feeling ambitious, I would seat them on the sink and sponge bathe their hands, face, and feet only. Or fill up the kiddie pool in the back yard and let them wade around in it, calling it "good enough."

Enter #3. Now these kids are lucky to be bathed twice a month. Seriously. In fact, I am a little ashamed to admit it, but I'm pretty sure I can still count on one hand the number of times #3 has had a bath at home, and she was 4 months yesterday.

My mom is kind of picky, so I figure if they smelled or something, she'd tell me. And if #1 was truly ratty looking, his little old lady Russian preschool teacher would give me a disapproving look as she asked if #1 was familiar with soap and water.

I know it sounds terrible, but its true. And the kids don't seem the worse for the wear. I mean, we still wash hands before eating and after potty-ing. I still wipe diaper areas. I still have the 4-year-old clean his "privates" with a diaper wipe before putting on his Spiderman undies in the morning. I still trim nails and wipe faces after eating. I just don't give them a lot, er . . . many . . . er . . . any(?!?!) full-fledged baths.

I've decided that I can then use the tub rings to figure out how old they are.